The Reviewatorium

Hi, Howard Tuttleman here with what I call a news-flash-whistle-blower review. This may need a little back story.
So, I was at a restaurant the today trying to escape moms cinnaroni leftovers when I over-heard some people sitting next to me talking about how great their printer canon was. “A PRINTER CANON!!!” I thought. They were talking about how it was doing SO MANY fliers a minute and how they were spreading the fliers everywhere. I came up with a great mind-storm of ideas and ran home.
I decided it was time for me to take Max (my dog) on his first mission. I called up every electronics store until I found one that had it in-stock. Oh boy, it was time for action. Unfortunately I hit a slight snag when I had to go back to the restaurant and get my car. I drew up all the schematics and planned everything perfectly, but the printer canon didn’t quite meet my expectations in the field-of-battle. Here was my plan:

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