A Trilogy of Reviews for Groundhog’s Day Part 3
Well, this is the finale and it’s after 1am now, and I have to admit I’m a bit tired. You may not realize how much energy is put into a Howard Tuttleman review.
I’m actually going to save this movie for when I wake up so I can put my full-effort into it, but I’d like to share with you how I feel about it now, because I think it’s REALLY AMAZING. I keep getting yelled at because Bosco gave me this movie a long time ago and I’ve been holding back because we all know that you can only review a movie for the first-time once, so I didn’t want to waste it.
This movie is kind of like Road-Warrior meets Flight of the Navigator, where we have an adventurer-type boy in the future after some kind of big explosion that kills almost everyone, but the boy doesn’t mind because now he doesn’t have to deal with his dumb parents and he can now talk to his-dog through telepathy. Also, in the post-end-of-the-world life a boy can really just concentrate on walking-around and having great adventures with his dog-panion.
Now I’m going to imagine some of the great adventures they could have.
The only problem is that the boy can’t review anything. Well, he can, but he doesn’t have an internet to put the reviews on. I guess he could write the reviews on paper and just post them up places, or go to the center of the future-wasteland towns and yell about it. It would go something like “Oh, look at that guy! Oh, I’m that guy and you should pity me because there’s no more food so I have to eat canned dog food. 1 STAR! For not thinking like Howard Tuttleman and burying all the good canned foods in a secret location before other people got to it!”. Since writing the Road-Warrior review I’ve come up with a lot of really good survival-tactics so I don’t have to eat dog food in the future because it doesn’t taste that great at all.
Oh, I just imagined an adventure where the boy finds out his evil neighbor has ALSO survived the explosion and is now leading a group of grown-ups that are looking to capture the boy because he has all the good canned food. He’s just walking down the road one day with his-dog and they’re Harmoni-walking (It’s a spin off of my invention I like to call Harmoni-cruising where you drive your car and play harmonica to the music, but in this patent they walk and the dog sings a tune and the boy harmonicas to that, (kind of like an old fashion jamboree) and then the grown-ups ride up in old-looking future cars that don’t have tops and they swoop up the boy and his dog and take them to their lair. M. Gibson drives down the road and sees that the boy dropped his harmonica and the trail that the grown-ups left and there’s this great ending scene where the grown-ups have the boy’s dog on a rope above a vat of acid and the boy is up in a bird cage made of glass and the Road-Warrior comes rip-roaring in and tosses the harmonica out the window while driving over grown-ups and they have one of those scenes where you just see the harmonica spinning in the air and you see the neighbor Capelli’s horror-face and then Howard grabs the harmonica even though it looked like he wasn’t going to be able to reach it and he hits a high note and the glass cage shatters and as he’s falling and he grabs onto the rope that was holding Morris and he cuts it with a shard of glass from the glass-cage that broke right before they hit the acid and Patrick Swayze-Warrior drives over this ramp that takes his car flying right over the vat and the boy and his dog fall right into the back seat and Mr. Capelli shatters because he was made of glass too and then they just Harmoni-Cruise off into the distance to go eat good food and laugh about the whole thing. Later.