Hi, Howard Tuttleman here with what I call a news-flash-whistle-blower review. This may need a little back story.
So, I was at a restaurant the today trying to escape moms cinnaroni leftovers when I over-heard some people sitting next to me talking about how great their printer canon was. “A PRINTER CANON!!!” I thought. They were talking about how it was doing SO MANY fliers a minute and how they were spreading the fliers everywhere. I came up with a great mind-storm of ideas and ran home.
I decided it was time for me to take Max (my dog) on his first mission. I called up every electronics store until I found one that had it in-stock. Oh boy, it was time for action. Unfortunately I hit a slight snag when I had to go back to the restaurant and get my car. I drew up all the schematics and planned everything perfectly, but the printer canon didn’t quite meet my expectations in the field-of-battle. Here was my plan:
1. Design a beautiful flier describing me (Howard Tuttleman) and why people should go to my web-site.
2. Pretend to take Max (my dog) for a walk so my parents wouldn’t think I was up to any trouble.
3. Once I was in the center of the designated “blast-zone” I would strap the Canon BJC-80 Portable Printer to Max (my dog) and let him run around town as it sprayed fliers everywhere.
I had envisioned a spectacular shower of fliers everywhere. Needless to say, my dream didn’t quite come true. I turned it on and let Max (my dog) loose. The copies just flopped out of the printer and onto the ground, and for some reason Max just ran around in circles so they didn’t even spread around AT ALL. Instead of calling it a canon, why don’t they just call it a Dumb Normal BJC-80 Portable Printer.
To make things worse the people at the computer-store gave me a real hard time when I tried to return it. I tried so many ways with different-words to describe the fountain of fliers and the way people would look up into the sky it would be like in a movie where people would think it was raining and they would take out their umbrellas and then they would see it wasn’t rain at-all but Howard Tuttleman Fliers and they would put their umbrellas away and they would read the fliers and look all excited and then they would take the fliers home and go to my web-site and then they would give the fliers to other people who would also get really excited over them and there would be a great spiraling circle of happy people going to my web page and the STUPID guy at the computer-store just didn’t get it. Whatever. Later.